Cheers To Six Years

I sat down at my desk, launched Word, and stared at the cursor as it blinked. Tame Impala’s Dracula playing in the background. I recall my head bobbing along to the bass. At some point I made a mental note of how good the soundbar and subwoofer sound after having moved some things around in the room. My eyes eventually crossed as I got lost in the music. I continued to zone out, my hands spread across my face, slightly obscuring my vision and eventually causing me to lose focus of the screen, roughly coinciding with the same moment that I had also lost sight, literally and figuratively, of what I originally wanted to accomplish.

That has been somewhat of a recurring theme for me lately, unfortunately. I will carve out a moment to write, to read, to create, and despite my best efforts, I just can’t. A feeling similar to syncope seemingly takes over, though I don’t get to the point of actually losing consciousness, thankfully. I just enter a state in which tunnel vision prevails, and the sounds of the world around me become muted, if not completely silenced. It is eerily calming. It is definitely stress induced though. Stress being something that I seem to be harboring an abundance of as of late. Adulting sure does have its perks, doesn’t it?

This month, even only being halfway through, has been especially difficult for me, work wise. I will spare you the details, as even I struggle to find a way to describe what has transpired in such a way that it can be digested and even partially understood by any rational human. It is, by all accounts, truly baffling to me. Despite the chaos, though, as well as my newfound propensity to “tune out”, I am actually doing pretty damn well.

There might be some out there that will disagree, especially considering what I just finished describing just two paragraphs ago, though to those, I just say trust me, I’m fine… I’ve got this. It is totally not a big deal at all. In all seriousness, I am very inclined to say that I am doing well, as no matter how stressed I have been, my desire to create has still existed. My thought process and overall creative flow might be a little off, but it is, nonetheless, still there.

That has not always been the case for me, and those times were arguably very, very dark. That is life though, and again, as I have previously stated, one of my biggest intentions with writing and publishing content, outside of holding myself accountable, is to share the peaks and the valleys. I do this for roughly two reasons – the first being that I enjoy going back to read things I have written when I wasn’t in a great spot, as a means to see how far I have come. The second being that perhaps me opening up and sharing can help someone else better navigate through a challenging moment in their life. Yes, there is a time for stoicism, but there are also times where admitting that something is off, and help is needed, are okay.

So, where is all of this coming from, and why am I opting to write about it? Well, when inspiration strikes, sometimes it is best to act as a passenger and just go along for the ride. Interestingly enough, and by some really weird twist of fate, the last time I was this stressed out, but still pushing forward creatively, was in May of 2020. That just so happens to be the month in which I launched this project and filed all of the paperwork with the State to make it official. Again, it feels like an almost cruel joke by the universe that four days shy of the official launch, my desire to create in tough times is yet again helping to metaphorically keep my head above water.

It feels good to be honest, though also weird. Six years is a long time, and it has passed incredibly quickly. I can still recall the exact moment that inspiration for this outlet hit. I was outside one evening, driving around in the Mule, and watching the last bit of daylight fade into darkness. We were in the height of the pandemic, life was weird, and I wanted to make the best of it. I knew that if I did not find something to do, some type of way to create, that it would be hard for me to get out of the funk that I was in. It took me a little while to get everything up and going, and I do still struggle at times to adhere to my objectives, though I get better with each entry. Especially now that I approach everything with far more intent than before. I think that might actually be me maturing a little though.

Driving around the property one evening back in May of 2020. It was on this outing that the idea for this project came to life.

I get that this entry is different, and certainly not photo-heavy, though it is still one that I felt compelled to write and share. It is fun to reflect back on the ebbs and flows of life, and how The Texas Native has helped me out. I look forward to continuing the project, hopefully being able to grow it into something bigger, and to just keep having fun. This year I aim to create a lot more, take on clients again, and make a whole hell of a lot of great memories.

Until next time!
-Tyler